"Who does?"
"This is what happens if you invite Barakka off Mortal Kombat to Michael Barrymores house sir!"
Synopsis
Odo is accused of murdering an old enemy. We discover the worlds first members of a lynch mob who have the ability to speak more than one language. Count Dooku and Alderaan show up. And Keiko O'Brien whinges a lot and opens up a boring school thingy.
Review
We start off in the holosuite with Bashir and Dax. Dax is meditating under a huge CGI bubble. This is some boring looking brainteaser or something. Now as we have seen in "Emissary", Bashir would like to insert a worm of his own in Jadzia (sorry). But it is made pretty obvious that she isn't interested. Now unrequited love is nothing new on a TV show, but it is the way she blatantly cock teases the man, and is deliberately messing with him and letting him continue in his desperate and fruitless attempt to bed her. Come on! Put the guy out of his misery for gods sake. "Whatever you think is gonna happen Julian, it isn't. It really isn't.", or words to that effect. But no, she lets him make a bit of a lovestruck tit of himself... Let's him think that he might have a chance, and that she'll play with his balls instead of that CGI one in her game. BECAUSE IT FUCKING AMUSES HER!!! I mean she even tells him to relax playing the ball game, when she lets him rest the back of his head on her breasts. Jesus Christ! He's like some little puppy she can torment at her own pleasure, unable to fight back.
Meanwhile Keiko O'Brien and her husband are having a bit of a ding dong, she doesn't want to live here as she feels like a spare part. There is little need for a botanist on DS9, whilst the Chief has to spend all day trying to patch the station together. Odo and Quark overhear her moaning (Keiko does this quite a lot. The corridors of DS9 ring to the tune of Miyyyyyyyyyyyelllllllleeees!) and Odo sums up human relationships in a hilarious exchange; as marital compromise being defined by a woman as the man just doing what she says (true (; !!). Rene Auberjoinis manages to wring out every last drip of misanthropy and grouch cynicism in the entire spiel. That quote above is laced with as much humorous cynicism as Harry Pinkett's quip on the TNG film "Nemesis" reminding him of death, but then again what didn't anymore. Odo then spots a Bajoran man and confronts him, only to be dragged off by Sisko when he starts to give the man a good kicking.
Miyyyyellllleees tries and fails to turd polish the benefits of living on DS9 to his wife who counter claims rather passive aggressively that although the station is shit, lawless and in the middle of bloody nowhere; she understands that he has his career on the station to think about. Although I do sympathise with her predicament and can see why she would hate the place. That kind of straw man argument she employed (people do it in real life) drives me mental.
Odo explains that Ibudan; which sounds like a heartburn medicine, the bloke who he tried to kick the crap out of, was a former black marketeer and extortionist who profited off the backs of his people by charging them totally overboard prices. If this doesn't quite stoke up the bastardry factor, he also let some kid die because her parents couldn't afford the medicine, and we all love kids don't we. This is an example of what is known as "raping the puppy". Where the baddy has to have one incident of turn up to 11 twattery, so we really hate his guts. Seems Ibudan killed a Cardassian soldier and was sent to jail by Odo. (I'm surprised the Cardassians didn't have him up against a firing squad for killing one of their own.), but the provisional government let him go. His victim was after all only a Cardassian. Sisko says they can't do much about that, but Odo is disgusted by this. He says that although law systems change, justice is justice. Sisko says this is tantamount to a vigilantes manifesto, and warns Odo not to take the law into his own hands vis a vis Ibudan, who hasn't broken any laws yet. Well Ibby won't be breaking any laws as someone stabs him to death in the holosuite.
Back to the Dax / Julian thing. Julian is still trying to get it on (but not like a hub capped diamond star halo) so to speak, when Jadzia says Trills a far to advanced for romance and all that shit, a weakness of the young. Which of course obviously has a side clause of not applying to Klingons. I'm not sure if this was put in by the writers trying to portray all the "wise old sage in a hot young body" dichotomy they wanted the joined Trills to behave like, but was retconned out by later episodes, or that she is just lying to try and shake Bashir off. However this isn't the only character who had a change of traits as the show progressed. In the B plot of this episode, Keiko decides to set up a school on the station, as she is worried that the kids are just arseing about, and because she is looking for something to do. Sisko supports her (presumably anyone can just set up a school if they feel like it. Keiko isn't a qualified teacher. Michael Gove would love this idea) As part of this plot, she has to convince Rom (Quarks younger brother) to send his son Nog to the school. In this early show it is striking how different Rom behaves to later on .He just seems like Joe Ferengi here (he even sounds different). He has yet to be retconned into the kindly but bumbling and browbeaten, Karl Marx quoting savant he eventually was reconcieved as.
"Footloose, footloose. I'm gonna hang the changeling off a noose. Geez Louise, we're not very convincing vigilanteez!"
Mr Zayra, some Bajoran bloke of the week, who looks like about 7 different mid 80's power ballad singers who are now middle aged; in one - says he overheard Ibudan saying he was afraid Odo would harm him given his loathing of him. It also doesn't help that there are no DNA traces that are from anyone except Ibudan and the team who found him (Odo included) and that no one beamed in, but someone could have oozed in. Odo has no alibi as he was in a bucket at the time (really). That Ibudan mentioned Odo in his log. and the small fact that Odo wasn't too keen on the murder victim. Insinuations from Bajorans about Odo's culpability start to build up. Quark surprisingly dismisses the accusations that Odo is a killer, and indeed a Cardassian collaborator. This is one of the first signs of the ambiguous love hate relationship between the two. The pair are joined at the hip, although they would never admit it to each other. They need each other as much as Ant and Dec do. (though Dec can't impersonate household furniture obviously) All of this is watched by Count Dooku off the Star Wars prequels. We know this guy is evil because he wears a cloak (from Evilapparrel.com) and stares in an evil way at the middle distance.
Odo is becoming increasingly ostracised by the Bajorans, who obviously seem to hold an extortionist and black marketeer who did pretty well out of his countryman's plight. Who let some kid die because her folks were too poor to buy medicine. (you'd think word of his "working practices" would get around a bit.) Why are these people so pissed off that he was murdered. The guy was an arsehole (No I'm not condoning murdering horrible people either.). I assure you that people who have lived under occupation in real life, don't have much regard from those who saw it as a way to make some cash at their expense. Even the Starfleet officers admit it looks pretty fookin dodgy on Odo's part. The only small clue is some organic residue in Ibudans quarters. Odo is suspended and his office is trashed by vigilantes who can write English. Now traits I associate with vigilantes are bad teeth, an inability to distinguish the difference between paedophile and paediatrician, the ability to jump to illogical and emotional conclusions on the basis of highly dubious evidence. And an air of moral righteousness directly disproportional to their own moral calibre. I don't usually associate an ability to grasp a foreign language as vigilante material. Mr. Zayra leads a baying mob outside Odo's office (though not performing a few musical numbers into the bargain.) He wants to put a bit of St. Elmo's fire in Odo's direction, and kick off his Sunday shoes, at Odo's face. Dooku is watching again looking evil. The mob chant "justice", and this is the ironic tie into Odo's earlier comments about "justice." It is the logical, if unintended end point of Odo's comments. The Federations laws may seem bureaucratic and flip flopping, and the concept of impartial rule of law may seem frustrating to someone emotionally involved in a crime. But they don't seem it if you are on the rough receiving end of an accusation. Odo's simplistic view may seem appealing at first, but it can go horribly wrong as it did here, and can work against you instead of for you.
"Marster Sideous. I'm going for the General Zod look. Sith robes play ruddy havoc with my complexion!"
Bashir manages to save the day when he discovers that that goo he found is growing into a humanoid clone (It's one of those telly sci fi adult ones at conception at that. Hey even the Star Wars prequels avoided this misconception), a clone of Ibudan. That is why there was no DNA, Ibudan cloned himself, then killed his clone to frame Odo for his murder. (Dooku is Ibudan in disguise, relishing Odo's torment BTW) I'm not saying that any of this is far fetched by the way, and I'm absolutely sure that just about anyone who isn't a scientist can grow a clone of themselves in the quarters of a ship, with basic scientific equipment, and the passed down knowledge of a dodgy scientist you slopped out with in the clink. Odo arrests Ibudan for murder and with the excitement over everyone goes home,
Oh and Nog, Jake and some other kids turn up at Keiko's school. Does anyone care? Me neither.
Mistakes and Questions.
Odo says he needs to regenerate into his liquid form every 18 hours. This was later revised to 16. (Hey he was having a bad day!)
Rene Auberjounis accent certainly wanders about a bit in this episode. He sounds nothing like Odo during the exposition scene in the holosuite.
Keiko mentions that Jake's education largely consists of him home schooling himself on the computer. This is hardly an ideal way to educate a teenage boy. I'm surprised Sisko didn't make provisions for his sons education.
The Bajoran rabble rousers ask rhetorically why Odo is still chief of security even though he worked for the Cardassians. Good Question.
Bettys Thought for the Day
Nice little (If staggeringly blatant) nod to that other sci fi universe here;
Summary
A Man Alone is an entertaining, but pretty standard murder mystery fayre. It does highlight fairly well that this is a less sanitised Trek than TNG, what with lynch mobs, a chief of security who openly wants to arbitrate right and wrong through his own sense of "justice", none of that due process stuff. It also highlights the divided loyalties and the splintered nature of the DS9 universe. If this was ordinary Trek Starfleet would be 100% behind their own if they were accused of a crime, but here they suspect that the alien security guy might have actually killed a man in cold blood. It's not the greatest episode made and isn't anything special, and both the plausibility of the cloning plot and some of the lynch mobs acting is pretty iffy. But at least it isn't boring, as a comparable generic Voyager episode would have been.
Rating 6/10.
Next Time
Bevelled sharks! Gateau ensnared suppository. Wisconsin hob nobbed perpendicular grandads trousers! Trust me it'll make sense when you see the episode.
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