Deep Space Nine Review. "Q-Less" 1x06

"You hit me! Picard never hit me!"

"I'm not Picard!"

Sisko's more hands on approach to Quarks shenannigans

"We don't need the slaphead! And if it all goes pear shaped, I'll give Columbo's wife a visit!"





Synopsis
Q and Vash pay a surprise visit to DS9 in an attempt to win over TNG fans, and mysterious forces threatens to destroy the station, and one of those is just the stations inability to physically contain the insufferably massive ego of Season 1 Doctor Bashir.


Review

There is no real other way to say this. The reason this episode was created was to draw fans of TNG to the new show. Place a popular TNG character onto DS9 and reel the viewers in. Now I don't have a problem about this, TV is after all is a business, and a lot of good stories can flow from capitalising on popular characters from other shows, and from nostalgia itself - if you have a solid piece of writing underpinning it, and not just come across as just an excuse to give a popular character a vehicle at the expense of the episode itself. This is unfortunately what happens here, and probably why this was Q's only DS9 outing. So, to the actual episode itself.

Bashir is boasting to his latest conquest about how clever he is, and how he was just so bloody good at medical school. If this was real life she'd have either told him she was a lesbian or made her excuses to go the loo and binned the date off after about 30 seconds of this nonsense, but no. He starts banging on about how he mistook a pre ganglionic fibre for a post ganglionic nerve (see mistakes) in an exam and that is why he graduated second in his class. O'Brien who can hear all this, looks like he wants to throw up, and to be quite honest me too. Don't worry thought they do tone Bashir down from the cockend he is here, to a rather likable character.

They discover that a runabout returning from the Gamma quadrant has been totally drained of power, they open it up to rescue Dax and find she has a passenger Vash, a rogue archaeologist, and former shag of Captian Picard; who has been in the Gamma quadrant for two years (before the wormhole was discovered.) What they don't see is Q, hiding in the corridor, because as we know (but they don't) it was established in TNG Q and Vash explored space together, but have presumably returned as they felt they had to do their bit to bolster Paramount's ratings.

Vash won't say how she got to the Gamma quadrant, and she deposits some alien bric a brac she picked up in the assay office, including a glowing crystal, and as we know glowing crystals on Trek are not a good sign of things to come.

The power outages move from the runabout to the station. Meanwhile we learn that Vash wants to part company with Q, turns out he's a bit of an obnoxious travel companion, but Q wants her back. Now I must point out that SFDebris made a big point out of the major flaw in this episode in his video review. That Q, the omnipotent has been reduced to chasing skirt for laughs. Originally this episode wasn't supposed to feature Q, just Vash. Obviously they saw her backstory coincided with Q and thought hell; we'll stick him in as well. Unfortunately there is little reason for Q to be in this episode at all (more on this when he meets the DS9 crew), so they have had to come up with him trying to get Vash back. Now Q justifies his actions by saying that as he's been there and done that, the wonders of space now hold about as much inherent wonder as filling in a tax return form. But watching Vash experiencing these things for the first time makes it seem interesting again. I suppose that is sort of plausible, that experiencing it with a human who is not encumbered with all that boring Starfleet nonsense (as Q sees it), and can appreciate it at face value, someone who is willing to bend the rules, and most importantly was Picard's ex girlfriend, rather than going all Prime Directivey and taking the moral high ground at every M class world they land on"Q didn't take not coming first in the Tsar lookalike contest, very well."

We need a little exposition to carry on to the next scene. O'Brien has spotted Q and informed Sisko. O'Brien believes Q is behind the power outages and graviton surges, which are now strong enough to have punched a hole in the hull of the station. Sisko confronts Q, and thus we get the second major scene with De-Lancie (It is striking how little Q is actually in this episode.), and it is here that the real flaw of the episode is laid bare. Now don't get me wrong De-Lancie is great hamming it up as Q, and some of his lines are the funniest of the entire show (O'Brien being one of the "little people" on the Enterprise, and how Picards lackeys would have solved th technobabble behind the outages hours earlier than this crew.) But it does highlight that Q is essentially tied to the TNG crew in a way he isn't here. The dynamic between Q and Picard was driven by this slightly pompous and formal captain being, who was used to being addressed in a certain way, being antagonised by the thoroughly impertinent and irreverent character. There was also a reason for Q to behave the way he did. He was annoyed about the self righteous and complacent nature of TNG humans, and wanted to point out that they weren't half as great as they thought they were. The comedy of the Q episodes derived from the crews antagonism towards him for all the horrid things he tormented them with. On DS9 that dynamic was not there. (Voyager had to use Janeways gender to create a dynamic.) Apart from O'Brien, they don't know who he really is. They don't really interact with him as they are too busy trying to locate the source of the graviton surges, to respond to his insults. I mean you may as well have had Simon Cowell stood on ops insulting the crews competency and it wouldn't have changed much. Yes we might argue that Sisko did confront Q, when he accuses him of causing the surges (which Q denies) and thus we get the "boxing scene where Sisko floors him (funny scene). But that was the problem, Sisko's brief with Q was a practical one. "I think you have caused this! You help me fix, no games! either stop what you are doing or shove off!" That is essentially the limit of their dust up. Despite Q saying that Sisko is easier to rile than Picard, it isn't true. Sisko is only pissed off at Q because of the fix they are in. With Picard, Q was philosophically able to get under his skin. Thing is Sisko isn't going to cite Shakespeare out of context with him, or go off on one about how "evolved" humans are. It just isn't Siskos thing. Sisko just isn't a foil for Q's games, and for Q that means he's no fun at all, and this is why Q was never seen again on DS9.

The graviton beams are getting so bad that the station is getting pulled in towards the wormhole which will destroy DS9. Sisko doen't think Q is behind it. The damage is too crude and lacks style for it to be him. We are now treated to a boring scene where the "valuable" Gamma Quadrant relics are auctioned off at Quarks. I'm not saying they were forced to pad this epidoe out, but Christ this scene is boring. If I wanted to watch the Antiques Roadshow I'd bang the I-player on. It alsoi doesn't help that the "relics" are those classic telly sci fi ones. The kind of kitschy shit you'd never take out of the cardboard box in the basement as they are that naff. Well to cut a long story short. The crew manage to locate the source of the graviton disturbances, that glowing crystal (what else?), which they beam into space before it tears the station apart, and before Quark can flog it for a huge profit. It is in fact a luminous (if incredibly shitty looking) alien life form, that beggers off into the wormhole. Everyone is saved, we all have a laugh at Quarks expense. Q can't convince Vash to leave, who decides to explore Tartaris V with Quark instead. Er.. and that about it.

Mistakes & Questions

Bashir claims he graduated second in his medical class because he got the Post ganglionic nerve and pre ganglionic fibre mixed up. I'm no surgeon, but apparently these two organs are so dissimilar this would be like a mechanic mixing up the gearbox of a car with the gear lever, as they both have the same word in them.

O'Brien claims that the runabouts power (which was used to bring Vash back) is do drained that the warp drive is close to losing magnetic containment. Shouldn't it be serviced in outer space within beaming distance of DS9 rather than in the dock, in case the warp drive does actually fail.

Bettys Thought for the Day

The climax of this story involves a seemingly inanimate object that becomes a spacebourne organism, which unintentionally threatens our heroes trying to escape confinement. In a way that is similar to Encounter at Farpoint, the TNG pilot (which also introduced Q to that series, who again knew what was happening but waited to see if our heroes figured it out in time.) So a nice bit of continuity there.

Summary

Q-Less is not without it's entertaining moments. De -Lancie as I said is great, scenery chewing and generally arseing about for our entertainment, and he has good chemistry with Jennifer Hatrick (Vash). The scene where Sisko hits him is a definate highlight. However the story just doesn't hang together very well. The idea to have Q on DS9 was clearly decided before they had a solid script to justify his appearance. This leaves the episode with a lot of filler moments (I can't believe how dull parts of this episode get) and it is noticeable that Q isn't in all that much of the episode. It is best to see this episode as a gimmick to get a popular TNG character on DS9. But it was a gimmick that didn't really work, and it is unsurprising Q returned to DS9. The first disappointing episode of the show.

Rating 5 / 10

Next Time

All American TV shows have to do a courtroom drama, and DS9 in no exception. Oh and they try and explain how the Trill slug thing works (which was probably Curzons excuse as well!),and I get Lady Gaga on the brain.

Deep Space Nine Review. "Captive Pursuit" 1x05

"I am Tosk."

"I'm sure you are."

Odo / Tosk small talk

"So let me get this straight. I don't get a cool "victory is life.", free drugs and an entire fleet battleships to blow shit up like my badass cousins. I just get to be chained up by the bloke who played that other Q on Voyager, and can look forward to being put in a zoo cage where jeering kids will throw chicken nuggets at me if I'm lucky! F*&%^&*& F$%&%*&^ B$£$%^^&!!!!"

Synopsis.

O'Brien befriends a strange alien visitor from the Gamma Quadrant, who appears to be on the run from something. And we learn that if you want to, you can shirk making difficult moral decisions by saying it goes against the "prime directive".

Review

A damaged ship from the Gamma quadrant arrives through the wormhole. It is the first alien ship ever to have come from the other side. The occupant Tosk is obviously nervous about something, but Chief O'Brien manages to talk him into tractoring his ship on board. As O'Brien seems to have opened up a dialogue with the visitor Sisko tasks him with showing Tosk around the station. Isn't that cool. If this had been TNG and they had met up with the first alien visitor from the Gamma quadrant, you know Picard and Riker would hev been there in full dress uniform. But on DS9, they send the engineer in coveralls to initiate such a momentous first contact! That the guy who was a peripheral character on the old show, becomes the first man to meet someone from the Gamma quadrant! (well apart from Odo) Anyway O'Brien shows the alien around DS9, tries to learn a bit about the taciturn Tosk, and assigns him some quarters. (turns out he only sleeps for 17 minutes a night, and doesn't eat as he has nutrition fibres throughout his body. See Bettys thought....). When O'Brien departs Tosk asks the computers to locate where the weapons on the station are kept. The computer then denies him access as he is a stranger and informs security that he has tried to locate them. Er no! It actually shows him where they are. Anyone can just walk in and find this stuff out!

O'Brien reports back to Sisko his concerns. Tosk is clearly agitated about something, and has tried to pass off the damage to his ship as caused by travelling through the wormhole. It is in fact battle damage. Tosk is indeed an odd character. As O'Brien says there is no real malice in him, or indications of him being a hard case. No ill intent on behalf of the station on Tosks behalf. He is almost a naif in his manner. He is; in a way - the straightest person going. He claims that he has no vices to indulge when Quark tries tempting him with some of the more "indulgent" experiences on offer. He says he doesn't need them. He is on the greatest adventure of all (which he won't elaborate on). Which I always think someone on the Alpha course would say if you offered them a free weekend bender in Hamburgs reeperbahn.

Tosk is caught by Odo trying to access weapons. He non violently tries to escape but is cornered. He claims he has to prepare (for what?) In a holding cell, O'Brien tries to get him to spill the beans, but Tosk says that O'Brien must help him die with honour. A ship similar to Tosks appears which aggressively scans the station and the heavily armed, helmeted occupants beam aboard and storm the promenade. I say heavily armed, the suits they wear are made of spandex, which is well known for its ability to fend off ray gun hits. They are who Tosk is running from. They quickly commandeer the holding cell and capture Tosk. The reason for Tosk's strange anatomy and personality is revealed. Tosk (or Tosks) was (are) genetically created as sentient beings, specifically bred for these guys to hunt down and kill. The chief hunter is disgusted that Tosk has been captured alive (It's considered sporting to kill them), and as it was a "bad hunt", they'll stick him in a zoo so kids can laugh at him (I'm not saying the writers are trying to hammer home these guys are assholes BTW!!), the failed quarry.

"This old Gamma quadrant game is called "whips n wormholes." If you bring a bottle of Smirnoff along, I'm sure Terrans will be allowed to join in!"

The chief hunter tells a naturally disgusted Sisko that deliberately breeding and hunting a sentient lifeform is considered the ultimate test of strength, and that it is a noble and exciting existence for a Tosk, and a huge honour. I'd like to see how "noble and exciting" this prick would find it if he had was the "prey". The hunter wants Tosk transferred home to compound his "disgrace"

Now this is where the prime directive, Starfleets general order number one of not interfering in the affairs of others is brought up. Now as anyone familiar with the reviews of SFDebris will know, the Prime Directive has been used to justify some pretty lousy moral decisions in Trek in the past (well some were in this episodes future). Now Sisko says that the prime directive means there is little they can do to stop the hunters taking Tosk back. They may find what the hunters are doing, and the fate that awaits Tosk despicable. The hunt, and the entire episode is "part of their culture". Now I personally dislike this statement being wheeled out to justify cruel cultural practices (and no this does not make me a racist either.). I see it as a cowardly way to turn a blind eye to people suffering being dressed up as having an open minded philosophy to other cultures. Now unlike stuff like "Dear Doctor", this episode visibly demonstrates that the crew think that although it is "the rules", it stinks. The episode is explicitly saying that it is a lousy justification and not trying to actually say it is "moral". This episode is a good example of how DS9 was more willing to bend the rules, and shake off some of the almost dogmatic baggage Trek has. Kira says that if Tosk requests asylum he could avoid being sent home.

O'Brien tries to persuade him to claim asylum, but Tosk refuses. This scene is the strongest in the entire episode. It also highlights just how alien this guy is. He can't claim asylum as

"I am Tosk. The hunted. I live to outwit the hunters for another day. To survive til I die with honour."

Tosk simply cannot conceive of life without the hunt. It is the entire purpose of his existence, his whole world. The whole context of how he lives his life and how he thinks. He's a bit like some of the Jem Hadar were portrayed as in the show. He can't live outside the contexts of the hunt. O'Brien is visibly moved by this alien who totally lacks any form of deceit or corruption. Who speaks of honour (and this gets thrown around like confetti) and actually is the embodiment of it. Who literally is the straightest guy there is. O'Brien realises in an offhand comment to Quark, that although Tosk can't bend or even change the rules, O'Brien can on his behalf. He tricks Odo and the hunter into letting him escort his friend to the hunters ship (gesture of goodwill from Starfleet). There they incapacitate the hunters and O'Brien helps Tosk to flee and fight yet another day. Sisko who deliberately made a half arsed effort to stop them, is angry with O'Brien for deceiving his CO, but the Chief points out the hunters were unhappy he was captured (it wasn't a satisfying hunt remember), so he has backhandedly helped them too. When O'Brien leaves Sisko secretly smiles, glad that Tosk got away. It may not have been the done thing to do, but it was the right thing.

Mistakes

There is a scene at the beginning where one of Quarks Dabo girls complains about sexual harassment being in her contract. we never hear anything more about this scene in this episode or ever hear from the woman again. Was this some abandoned B plot? (she has quite elaborate alien makeup on too. I can't imagine that they went to all this trouble for a minute long scene) I am told she was originally supposed to proposition Sisko but the writers thought that a step too far.

Sisko tells Tosk he has travelled 90'000 light years in the wormhole. This contradicts the usual number of 70'000, given in most episodes.

There are security fields on the docking ring doors that glow when someone who has a weapon passes through them. We never see these again, and armed people can clearly walk through them (Invasive Procedures is a good example.) Why was such a useful system deactivated ?

Tosk can easily locate the stations weapons on the computers. So anyone can just find them. No I can't see the inherent silliness of this either.

Odo manages to confine Tosk pretty easily when he catches him trying to access the weapons lockers. I mean it's not like Tosk is ever in a situation where people want to get hold of him, and that he may need to get out of a sticky situation fast, is it?

Bettys Thought for the Day

Watching this episode again in hindsight of having seen it all before in a previous run, it is quite easy to see that Tosk is a proto Jem Hadar (though a much more pleasant chap!). He doesn't need to eat, or has need of too much sleep. He is of reptilian extraction. He was genetically engineered for combat purposes, and has difficulty thinking beyond the confines of what he was engineered for. He values honour through overcoming combative situations to the exclusion of all else. And he can shroud himself in an invisibility field. All of which to some extent were seen on the Jem Hadar. The writers have later confirmed that the Jem Hadar shroud and Tosks shroud are the same effect (they look different to me. Tosk just winks out, the Jem Hadar "shimmer" in), and that whoever clones the Jem Hadar also create the Tosks. I don't know how much of the concepts for the Dominion were layed out when this episode was written (if any), but it is a nice bit of foreshadowing. Give yourselves a bloody round of applause writer people.

Summary

Definitely the strongest episode brought out since the pilot episode at this point. At its heart it is a tale about how far we should follow or tolerate rituals and rules, even when they are immoral and actively harm us. That rules and rituals have to be bound with empathy and the context of circumstance (especially here on the frontier), or we end up with the ritual being automatically good because it is .... the ritual, hence a guy can actually justify hunting a sentient being as a "noble pursuit", which was part of the problem of the "prime directive" episodes we mentioned before, and that this one avoids. Credit must be given to both Colm Meaney for providing the emotional pathos of the episode as he gets drawn into Tosks plight, and Scott Macdonald for bringing Tosk to life with his strong physical presence, making Tosk both very alien but simultaneously someone whose plight we can all relate to. All in all a well paced episode, with an engaging story and mystery plot, that foreshadows what we might end up finding on the other end of the wormhole in later seasons.

Rating 8 / 10

Next Time.

DS9 is greeted by two old familiar characters who are on an epic mission to get fans of the Next Generation to bolster viewing figures, and Dr Bashir acts like an insufferable throbbing cockend.

Deep Space Nine Review. "Babel" 1x04

"Oh! I see."

Odo response to virus sufferer

Whoever says we never do culture on this blog!

Synopsis.

A mysterious virus on DS9 causes those afflicted to start spouting incoherent gibberish that makes people think they are insane, and then they die. a bit like watching too much Fox News then. (apart from the dying bit of course.)

Review.

Babel starts off with an extremely flustered and overworked O'Brien trying to fix the many, many things that keep breaking down on DS9. He is interrupted by Captain Jaheel, some alien dude who has a cargo ship and makeup that isn't really going to win any design awards for Paramount. Jaheel bitches about how he can't be delayed anymore as his cargo will start rotting. Jaheel is one of those whiny customers, anyone in the service trade hates having to deal with and on a bad day; would love to punch them in the smug face. You know - one of those who has to give their bitching; passive aggressive tuppenceworth about how crap you are at your job, like they'd do any fricking better BTW, under bad circumstances!! (Not that I'm projecting ill will to this guy because I've ever had bad experiences in a customer service based job you understand!! (-;) The chief eventually finds time for a cuppa at the replicator terminal he is fixing, which has a hidden device attached to it which must be evil because they play that "sinister" incidental music just before the opening credits roll.

"Don't laugh at my makeup asshole! The Ugnaughts off Empire Strikes Back think I'm their God!"

O'Brien suddenly starts spouting meaningless gibberish (and I ain't talking about technobabble), and cannot even write coherently either. Bashir diagnoses that the chief is suffering from aphasia, where the brain can't process words properly. But he can't detect brain damage or cranial trauma. Meaney conveys the mixture of fear and frustration that an aphasia sufferer must go through at being struck down by such a surreal and frightening condition - really well in those infirmary scenes. It gets worse. Jadzia gets struck down with it. Bashir discovers it is a synaptic virus that screws about with the brain, hence why they are spouting gibberish (and hence where the title of the episode comes from).

As more people are struck down with apahasia, the station erects a quarantine. Quark; who due to the almost stationwide replicator failure - couldn't trade, has found some way to circumvent this and allow his bar to stay open. Odo doesn't believe his cover story that Rom fixed the bars replicator, as Rom couldn't fix a bent straw*. Jaheel proves himself to be a bit of a pussy, and asks Sisko to break the quarantine for him, as he doesn't want to get sick. Sisko refuses, and then learns Jake has been struck down too.

Quark has managed to bypass the replicator problem by breaking into affected crewmembers quarters, and using the only working replicators on the station to stock his bar (must bring in long waiting delays.). This is a bit of a bummer as Bashir discovers the virus is foodbourne. Quark has unwittingly spread the virus far and wide. If this wasn't bad enough it has mutated to an airbourne virus as well! The virus is man made, but not a Cardassian one, but planted by the resistance when the station was built 18 years ago. Oh and there is the minor thing that those who are afflicted die after about 12 hours of contracting it. There is quite a nice scene in the infirmary when Bashir says that although the virus is so destructive and will likely kill them all, he would like to shake the hand of the man who designed something so clever. It reminds me of a line in the novelisation of "A New Hope", when one of the rebel pilots in a moment of grim irony, despite knowing how deadly the Death star was, and the evil it represented - couldn't help but be blown over by how fricking awesomely clever the whole contraption was. Bashir's comments are realistic. It may be badass, but it's badass with style.

It's more bad news as Kira discovers that the geneticist / resistance fighter who designed it (and hopefully the antidote) is no longer alive. But she discovers his assistant Surmak Ren, who cuts the call off when she mentions the virus. Bashir contracts the virus without discovering a cure himself. Jaheel meanwhile attempts to break the quarantine, but only manages to wreck a docking clamp and sever the fuel lines on his ship in the attempt, which means the ship will explode in a manner of minutes (according to the physical principles of when the script tells it to.). Kira manages to beam Ren up (so she doesn't break quarantine) in a runabout telling him he has to find a cure, as she is infected, and thus he is now too. Sisko contracts the virus leaving only Odo and Quark (at a fee) to set the ship free before it blows the station as well. Of course they manage it (we get some poor model work fx as well, which don't stand up well with the Babylon 5 CGI that would come a year or two later.), and of course Ren comes up with a cure, and everyone is saved (God he must have been a very observant and diligent assistant when the virus was tailor made!). And we get an obligatory "who'd be me" end scene where Sisko awkwardly bollocks O'Brien for his dodgy tea from a faulty replicator, as we have to end on a light note ho ho!

Mistakes and Questions.

*Odo says Rom is to thick to mend a bent straw. Which contradicts the aptitude Rom would show in fixing stuff later on down the line. I suppose this isn't really a mistake as it is only Odo'd opinion. And sometimes appearances can be deceiving.

O'Brien mouths off about being put upon in ops, after Sisko asks him to fix a replicator. Hang on! I know he's having a bad day, but this is his CO he is talking to. Perhaps Sisko took pity on him.

Quark is seen pestering patients he thinks are faking the virus to get out of paying their bar bills, in the makeshift ward. He's making a lot of noise, and harassing ill people. Shouldn't someone like Sisko or Bashir ask him to leave?

Who was guarding the docking bays so no-one attempts to breach the quarantine? Jaheel seems to have boarded his ship without anyone stopping him, and no-one is down there except for Odo at the end. Was there no security well enough to enforce the quarantine. And how could they have even enforced it anyway, if there are no security men free?

Isn't it a bit strange that this virus affects Bajorans (as well as humans and other species) as well as the Cardassians it was intended for? I mean if this virus is as clever as they make out, why not bioengineer it for Cardassians only? What would have happened if it had been passed on to Bajor itself?

Betty's Thought for the Day

The episode is named after the Babel parable in the Bible, and it does have some interesting parallels with the episode itself. If you don't know the story I'll sum it up. The people of Babel were the first survivors of the Noah flood, and had built quite a nice little society for themselves, and it was the first instance of humanity being totally unified in culture and language. They started to build a tower partly designed as a beacon of their new society should things go tits up, and partly out of hubris. To build a tower to reach the heavens themselves. God wasn't to happy about mankind getting ideas above its station and he smashed it up and scattered the human race all over the earth, and the unity of language and culture was severed forever. The interesting thing for me is that story can have two different meanings (or better still, morals of the story) depending on your world view. I think it is fair to say the conservative commentator Peter Hitchens summed it up nicely as those who see man as inherently sinful, and that these Utopian grand schemes, where mankind presumes to know better than the higher authority, always end badly. Thus God was intervening to put mankind in its rightful place. The other school see man as essentially good and even capable of being perfected somewhat. That this was a spiteful act by a jealous god determined to stunt his ambitious children, and to bring mankind down and divided, and easier to rule over. The story and the symbolism about it was the basis of the backstory to Babylon 5 (the station is a future version of the tower, and the Shadows try to do what God does in this story.) However this story is sort of a loose inverted version of the Babel myth. On here the "superior beings" built their tower (Terok Nor) to stake claim over the "lesser beings", and to reach down to the land (it was a mining station). And it is the vengeful "lesser beings" who try to tear down the tower, and "confound the language" of the "superior beings." Intentional, or am I just reading too much into it. I just though it was an interesting take.

Summary.

Babel may be the virus of the week story, and hardly original, but for a story of this nature it was a pretty good one. For an early episode it is an unusual example of an ensemble piece, with all the regulars getting something to do. It is well paced, with Quarks B plot tying into the main plot, and the level of danger increases incrementally throughout so the sense of threat feels present and a genuine race against time. The only downsides are the poor "ship blows up" scene and how quickly everything has to be resolved, and how easily the virus is cured at the end. But that is a symptom of how much they put into your average DS9 episode. All in all a well established and entertaining episode with some good scenes and sense of pace (until the end). A nice standalone well worth watching if you have 45 minutes to kill.

Rating 7 / 10

Next Time

O'Brien befriends an alien from the Gamma Quadrant who appears to be on the run. And the Prime Directive is invoked, which is a handy get out of jail card for dealing with awkward moral issues.

Deep Space Nine Review. "A Man Alone" 1x03

She [Keiko] doesn't like it here"

Quark

"Who does?"

Odo.

"This is what happens if you invite Barakka off Mortal Kombat to Michael Barrymores house sir!"

Synopsis

Odo is accused of murdering an old enemy. We discover the worlds first members of a lynch mob who have the ability to speak more than one language. Count Dooku and Alderaan show up. And Keiko O'Brien whinges a lot and opens up a boring school thingy.


Review


We start off in the holosuite with Bashir and Dax. Dax is meditating under a huge CGI bubble. This is some boring looking brainteaser or something. Now as we have seen in "Emissary", Bashir would like to insert a worm of his own in Jadzia (sorry). But it is made pretty obvious that she isn't interested. Now unrequited love is nothing new on a TV show, but it is the way she blatantly cock teases the man, and is deliberately messing with him and letting him continue in his desperate and fruitless attempt to bed her. Come on! Put the guy out of his misery for gods sake. "Whatever you think is gonna happen Julian, it isn't. It really isn't.", or words to that effect. But no, she lets him make a bit of a lovestruck tit of himself... Let's him think that he might have a chance, and that she'll play with his balls instead of that CGI one in her game. BECAUSE IT FUCKING AMUSES HER!!! I mean she even tells him to relax playing the ball game, when she lets him rest the back of his head on her breasts. Jesus Christ! He's like some little puppy she can torment at her own pleasure, unable to fight back.


Meanwhile Keiko O'Brien and her husband are having a bit of a ding dong, she doesn't want to live here as she feels like a spare part. There is little need for a botanist on DS9, whilst the Chief has to spend all day trying to patch the station together. Odo and Quark overhear her moaning (Keiko does this quite a lot. The corridors of DS9 ring to the tune of Miyyyyyyyyyyyelllllllleeees!) and Odo sums up human relationships in a hilarious exchange; as marital compromise being defined by a woman as the man just doing what she says (true (; !!). Rene Auberjoinis manages to wring out every last drip of misanthropy and grouch cynicism in the entire spiel. That quote above is laced with as much humorous cynicism as Harry Pinkett's quip on the TNG film "Nemesis" reminding him of death, but then again what didn't anymore. Odo then spots a Bajoran man and confronts him, only to be dragged off by Sisko when he starts to give the man a good kicking.


Miyyyyellllleees tries and fails to turd polish the benefits of living on DS9 to his wife who counter claims rather passive aggressively that although the station is shit, lawless and in the middle of bloody nowhere; she understands that he has his career on the station to think about. Although I do sympathise with her predicament and can see why she would hate the place. That kind of straw man argument she employed (people do it in real life) drives me mental.


Odo explains that Ibudan; which sounds like a heartburn medicine, the bloke who he tried to kick the crap out of, was a former black marketeer and extortionist who profited off the backs of his people by charging them totally overboard prices. If this doesn't quite stoke up the bastardry factor, he also let some kid die because her parents couldn't afford the medicine, and we all love kids don't we. This is an example of what is known as "raping the puppy". Where the baddy has to have one incident of turn up to 11 twattery, so we really hate his guts. Seems Ibudan killed a Cardassian soldier and was sent to jail by Odo. (I'm surprised the Cardassians didn't have him up against a firing squad for killing one of their own.), but the provisional government let him go. His victim was after all only a Cardassian. Sisko says they can't do much about that, but Odo is disgusted by this. He says that although law systems change, justice is justice. Sisko says this is tantamount to a vigilantes manifesto, and warns Odo not to take the law into his own hands vis a vis Ibudan, who hasn't broken any laws yet. Well Ibby won't be breaking any laws as someone stabs him to death in the holosuite.


Back to the Dax / Julian thing. Julian is still trying to get it on (but not like a hub capped diamond star halo) so to speak, when Jadzia says Trills a far to advanced for romance and all that shit, a weakness of the young. Which of course obviously has a side clause of not applying to Klingons. I'm not sure if this was put in by the writers trying to portray all the "wise old sage in a hot young body" dichotomy they wanted the joined Trills to behave like, but was retconned out by later episodes, or that she is just lying to try and shake Bashir off. However this isn't the only character who had a change of traits as the show progressed. In the B plot of this episode, Keiko decides to set up a school on the station, as she is worried that the kids are just arseing about, and because she is looking for something to do. Sisko supports her (presumably anyone can just set up a school if they feel like it. Keiko isn't a qualified teacher. Michael Gove would love this idea) As part of this plot, she has to convince Rom (Quarks younger brother) to send his son Nog to the school. In this early show it is striking how different Rom behaves to later on .He just seems like Joe Ferengi here (he even sounds different). He has yet to be retconned into the kindly but bumbling and browbeaten, Karl Marx quoting savant he eventually was reconcieved as.


"Footloose, footloose. I'm gonna hang the changeling off a noose. Geez Louise, we're not very convincing vigilanteez!"


Mr Zayra, some Bajoran bloke of the week, who looks like about 7 different mid 80's power ballad singers who are now middle aged; in one - says he overheard Ibudan saying he was afraid Odo would harm him given his loathing of him. It also doesn't help that there are no DNA traces that are from anyone except Ibudan and the team who found him (Odo included) and that no one beamed in, but someone could have oozed in. Odo has no alibi as he was in a bucket at the time (really). That Ibudan mentioned Odo in his log. and the small fact that Odo wasn't too keen on the murder victim. Insinuations from Bajorans about Odo's culpability start to build up. Quark surprisingly dismisses the accusations that Odo is a killer, and indeed a Cardassian collaborator. This is one of the first signs of the ambiguous love hate relationship between the two. The pair are joined at the hip, although they would never admit it to each other. They need each other as much as Ant and Dec do. (though Dec can't impersonate household furniture obviously) All of this is watched by Count Dooku off the Star Wars prequels. We know this guy is evil because he wears a cloak (from Evilapparrel.com) and stares in an evil way at the middle distance.


Odo is becoming increasingly ostracised by the Bajorans, who obviously seem to hold an extortionist and black marketeer who did pretty well out of his countryman's plight. Who let some kid die because her folks were too poor to buy medicine. (you'd think word of his "working practices" would get around a bit.) Why are these people so pissed off that he was murdered. The guy was an arsehole (No I'm not condoning murdering horrible people either.). I assure you that people who have lived under occupation in real life, don't have much regard from those who saw it as a way to make some cash at their expense. Even the Starfleet officers admit it looks pretty fookin dodgy on Odo's part. The only small clue is some organic residue in Ibudans quarters. Odo is suspended and his office is trashed by vigilantes who can write English. Now traits I associate with vigilantes are bad teeth, an inability to distinguish the difference between paedophile and paediatrician, the ability to jump to illogical and emotional conclusions on the basis of highly dubious evidence. And an air of moral righteousness directly disproportional to their own moral calibre. I don't usually associate an ability to grasp a foreign language as vigilante material. Mr. Zayra leads a baying mob outside Odo's office (though not performing a few musical numbers into the bargain.) He wants to put a bit of St. Elmo's fire in Odo's direction, and kick off his Sunday shoes, at Odo's face. Dooku is watching again looking evil. The mob chant "justice", and this is the ironic tie into Odo's earlier comments about "justice." It is the logical, if unintended end point of Odo's comments. The Federations laws may seem bureaucratic and flip flopping, and the concept of impartial rule of law may seem frustrating to someone emotionally involved in a crime. But they don't seem it if you are on the rough receiving end of an accusation. Odo's simplistic view may seem appealing at first, but it can go horribly wrong as it did here, and can work against you instead of for you.



"Marster Sideous. I'm going for the General Zod look. Sith robes play ruddy havoc with my complexion!"


Bashir manages to save the day when he discovers that that goo he found is growing into a humanoid clone (It's one of those telly sci fi adult ones at conception at that. Hey even the Star Wars prequels avoided this misconception), a clone of Ibudan. That is why there was no DNA, Ibudan cloned himself, then killed his clone to frame Odo for his murder. (Dooku is Ibudan in disguise, relishing Odo's torment BTW) I'm not saying that any of this is far fetched by the way, and I'm absolutely sure that just about anyone who isn't a scientist can grow a clone of themselves in the quarters of a ship, with basic scientific equipment, and the passed down knowledge of a dodgy scientist you slopped out with in the clink. Odo arrests Ibudan for murder and with the excitement over everyone goes home,


Oh and Nog, Jake and some other kids turn up at Keiko's school. Does anyone care? Me neither.


Mistakes and Questions.


Odo says he needs to regenerate into his liquid form every 18 hours. This was later revised to 16. (Hey he was having a bad day!)

Rene Auberjounis accent certainly wanders about a bit in this episode. He sounds nothing like Odo during the exposition scene in the holosuite.

Keiko mentions that Jake's education largely consists of him home schooling himself on the computer. This is hardly an ideal way to educate a teenage boy. I'm surprised Sisko didn't make provisions for his sons education.

The Bajoran rabble rousers ask rhetorically why Odo is still chief of security even though he worked for the Cardassians. Good Question.


Bettys Thought for the Day

Nice little (If staggeringly blatant) nod to that other sci fi universe here;

Summary



A Man Alone is an entertaining, but pretty standard murder mystery fayre. It does highlight fairly well that this is a less sanitised Trek than TNG, what with lynch mobs, a chief of security who openly wants to arbitrate right and wrong through his own sense of "justice", none of that due process stuff. It also highlights the divided loyalties and the splintered nature of the DS9 universe. If this was ordinary Trek Starfleet would be 100% behind their own if they were accused of a crime, but here they suspect that the alien security guy might have actually killed a man in cold blood. It's not the greatest episode made and isn't anything special, and both the plausibility of the cloning plot and some of the lynch mobs acting is pretty iffy. But at least it isn't boring, as a comparable generic Voyager episode would have been.


Rating 6/10.

Next Time

Bevelled sharks! Gateau ensnared suppository. Wisconsin hob nobbed perpendicular grandads trousers! Trust me it'll make sense when you see the episode.

DS9 Review: "Past Prologue" 1x02

"It's just Garak. Plain Simple Garak!"

Yeah right.

"Tell that kindly old lady down the street, we have discovered a permanent solution for stopping Tiddles shitting in my garden, right here in this satchel!"

Synopsis


Kira has divided loyalties over a former resistance fighter wanted by the Cardassians. And the beginning of possibly the greatest mystery ever to grace the Star Trek mythos. Just what side is Garak batting for?


The teaser of Past Prologue starts off by introducing us to Garak. The only Cardassian who stayed behind on DS9 after the withdrawal. The show would tease us throughout over why he remained. He claims that he is just a simple tailor (though no-one believes him) and nothing more. But as we go on we learn a little more (but never quite why) about why he has remained, which we will look into in later episodes. He strikes up conversation with Bashir; who thinks (like everyone else) he is a spy who has stayed behind as the eyes and ears of Cardassia. He dismisses that with the line I have quoted above. It is clear from the way Andy Robinson portrays him that we are not to take this at face value. Garak clearly loves the mystery and suspicion that surrounds him like a shawl and plays up to it beautifully. Bashir is weirded out by it and leaves convinced he is trying to recruit him into his spy ring. It really is a great scene with plenty of laughs. It is little wonder Garak became as popular as he did.


Meanwhile in ops, a Cardassian warship fires on a Bajoran transport and destroys it, but they are able to beam the pilot to safety. The Bajoran man is able to let out a pathos laden "help me out" speech before passing out from his injuries, which is of course a cardinal rule of telly. It turns out the guy is a former fellow freedom fighter of Kira's. (this is a DS9 stable. Kira seems to know just about every guest star of the week as either a former resistance member / collaborator / black market; arms trader, who managed at one time to make her acquaintance. I wouldn't be surprised if Kira could enter a McDonalds in Fiji and recognise the burger flipper as a former member of her cell.) Tahna Las; disturbingly is also a member of the Kohn Ma. The Kohn Ma is sort of on the Al Quieda end of "freedom fighters". They continue to attack Cardassian targets and civilian ones at that. They have murdered Bajorans they didn't like, and are generally not very nice. They have been disowned and banished by the provisional government, but Tahna requests asylum on the basis that his Cardassian pursuers are going to resort to much more than strongly worded questioning if they get hold of him. Sisko is skeptical, for one thing the Kohn Ma continue their attacks on the Cardassians, and because he doesn't entirely believe that Tahna is sincere about cutting his ties with his organisation (and the episode gives the impression we are right to think he hasn't cut ties.). Kira however is keen to bend over backwards to get him asylum. He is after all a fellow freedom fighter, which she believes Bajor needs more of. After going over Sisko's head and appealing to Admiral Schoolmarm, Sisko bollocks her with this cut down remark.

"Go over my head again, and I'll have yours on a platter!"

Presumably accompanied with crinkle cut chips, what with the nose and all that. Ironic cannibalism.


The conflict between these two isn't really the crux of the episode. The actual moral dilemma lies within Kira herself. Kira still has a pretty rose tinted view of the occupation. It was evil Cardies versus the plucky Bajoran underground. That was the world she grew up in. However Kira is beginning to see that Bajor (or at the least herself) is going to have to think bigger picture despite whether she wants to or not, lest her world goes under. Although Kira would ideally have the Federation bugger off tomorrow, and that the wormhole may bring problems. she knows that Bajor is on it's arse, and that her people need to rebuild and try to take advantage of the situation. Tahna (who has been granted asylum as he is on pain of torture if captured.) on the other hand says Bajor should tell the entire galaxy to fuck itself. Bajor should look after itself and everyone else can take a running jump. This is where we see that this is an episode as much about a conflict of ideas, as a conflict between individuals.

"Nice to see Andy Robinson doing his little bit to quell superfluous rumours!"


We see the begining of Garaks friendship with Dr. Bashir in this episode. Now as anyone who knows anything about Star Trek knows that there is some online speculation amongst some fans that Garak is gay, and that he and Bashir are more than friends. I don't want to comment much more on this, firstly because it is really irrelevant to the characters in the context of the show and their character arcs. Secondly because it is a bit silly, and thirdly because it is amongst the least interesting background questions we could ask about this multi layered and fascinatingly enigmatic character. Garak has spotted the Duras sisters, who apart from their secondary mission to draw in TNG viewers; are covertly meeting with the Duras sisters. Now I don't object to this as some kind of stunt to get more viewers (this is TV folks they do this stuff.). And surprisingly their presence makes sense in the context of the plot, not just some daft attempt to crudely shoehorn a popular character into a story that doesn't justify their presence, apart from some gratuitous figure boosting stunt. Garak is able to trick the sisters into thinking he is a proper Cardassian spy spy, rather than being a possible Cardassian spy. they tell him about the bomb they are selling him, and offer to betray him to the Cardassians after they sell him the goods. Julian who is hiding in the changing room of the tailors can then pass this third person information on to Sisko, where they decide to let Tahna think he can pull his bombing mission off, and lie in wait to capture him before he completes it.

We really get to the heart of the issues of this episode in the scene with Odo and Kira. Kira is in a bad situation. Her complicity in allowing Tahna and his accomplices to gain asylum. Her bending over backwards to vouch for a guy who turns out to be a sort of space Bin Laden. And it was all for nothing. He used her naivete around the motives of all "freedom fighters" to pull of more attacks. She says that although life in the resistance was seven shades of awful, the simplicity and black and white nature of her world back then was somehow appealing. (Odo himself when proposing chucking the Duras sisters in jail without charge -mused that while Cardassian rule was tough in comparison to the bureaucratic, compromising fudge of Federation procedure - it was at least simple.) Kira is now confronted with a world that is more ambiguous and with more grey areas. She no longer knows what being patriotic to her people actually entails. Odo implies that the changing nature of society means that these values also change, and that it the crux of the difference between Kira and Tahna. Kira joined the resistance out of necessity. She saw that the Cardassians were beating and violating and working her people to death in the labour camps, and that no-one in the galaxy seemed to give a shit. That she would have to take up arms in a guerrilla war to drive the Cardassians offworld. If Kira hadn't faced the Cardassian occupation, I doubt she would even have fired a phaser in her life. she joined to free her people. Not for herself. That sounds like a moral decision based on patriotism to me. Tahna on the other hand fights because he enjoys killing and violence. He fights because he wants to impose his values on everyone else, and you can stare down the end of his gun if you disagree. Tahna fights for himself because it's what makes his dark heart pound with glee. That is why Kira makes amends for "helping" this man, and why she "betrays" him. Because she does what she thinks is right for her people. Something Tahna would never do.

She accompanies him on their mission, ostensibly as a sympathiser. He reveals he plans to collapse the wormhole so Bajor loses it's real estate status. He claims the Cardassians and the Federation will leave the world alone after this. I thought hang on! The Cardassians possibly. After they were driven off would they risk another conflict for a tapped out world without the wormhole? But the Federation was making overtures to the Bajorans before the wormhole was discovered. After all that effort channeled into Bajor are they just going to pack up and leave when the wormhole was capped? She sabotages the mission and Tahna subdues her. He forces her to set course for the wormhole, or he drops the bomb on the Bajoran colony they met the Klingons at. Kira manages to fly the ship into the Gamma quadrant, where Tahna in a fit of rage fires the bomb and misses the wormhole. They fly back and Tahna chooses surrender to the Federation rather than being given to the Cardassians. Kira tries to reason with him as he is led away to a cell, but he hisses "traitor" at her and is marched off. It was too bad Kira doesn't respond, but if she had; she should have said.

"You call me a traitor. You who lied to me and took advantage of my goodwill to someone who I thought fought for the Bajorans. You who I stuck my neck out, and nearly got my ass busted for, and all you did was belittle what I did for you. You who were willing to reduce our strip mined planet to some impoverished isolated backwater just so it could be "pure". You who would kill millions of innocent Bajorans on the colony purely out of spite. And you who went running to the hated Federation, when you realised you're ball sack may be slowly removed with rusty pliers in a Cardassian jail cell.

And you call me a traitor!"

Mistakes & Questions:

Odo claims he doesn't do pretence. Aside from the fact that the ability to use pretence would be valuable for a security officer who has to undertake questioning of suspects etc. Odo actually does resort to pretence. One example is him (well he is sarcastic when he does it) interrogating the Flaxian assassin in "Improbable Cause" in season 3.

Odo also claims that some ostrich from a made up alien planet sticks its head in water and eventually drowns itself, when it is frightened. This is of course a variation on the myth about ostriches sticking their head in the sand. It makes no sense from an evolutionary sense for an ostrich to inherit such as stupid trait.

Bettys Thought for the Day

The character of Garak was a real boost to the show. There is so much potential in this mysterious guy who remained on board after his people left, for reasons we can't quite fathom, and almost certainly is not there for any legitimate reason. The writers wanted to come up with a way to use him again, and I must say casting the brilliant Andrew Robinson alone made him a shoo in for a return visit.

Summary


Past Prologue is a strong episode, bringing in new layers of subtext to the show such as how a post occupation Bajor should continue, to the increased moral greying of the ocupation itself. There is a strong sense of multi layered character conflict and conflicts of interests going on in this episode, as well as an increased sense of having to do backroom deals and breaking the rules which brings the show apart from its Starfleet run starship based prediecessor. Garak is a great addition too. Such an enigmatic character. We never know why he "helped" uncover the plot, was it purely a self interested act on his behalf or an attempt to help DS9, or both? Looking back it is astounding how much they crammed into DS9 episodes at times. This episode sets up plenty of interesting stuff for the future and never loses pace, so a good continuation from the pilot.


Rating 7 / 10.


Next Time.


"A Man Alone" The charming tale of a bad man who comes up with an implausably complicated plot to smear his enemy. Keiko gripes about some stuff. Rom's personality is at odds from what was seen in later episodes, just like Baldrick in the first Blackadder series, and Count Dooku shows up standing in the background looking a bit evil. I kid ye not.

DS9 Review: "Emissary" 1x01

"No! It is not linear."

"This pre season 4 northern migration of your hair. What is this?"



Synopsis.


The Federation assists a strife torn world on the frontier of the universe (about 90 light years from Earth if that Star Trek star chart book is to be taken at face value.) devastated by decades of alien occupation, and they discover something that could change the face of the universe for ever (and I ain't talking about broadband; internal combustion or Justin Beiber.)


Review.


This is the pilot episode of Deep Space Nine, so for a kicker we need to have some scenes to provide back story for who the main protagonist is, and so we relive the fateful battle of Wolf 359, (3 years earlier in story chronology. None of the battle was actually seen in the episode originally showing the events leading to it. I presume they ran out of both cash and time.) which was Starfleets final stand against the Borg invasion. I say battle, it was a massacre, all those 39 ships were destroyed and the Borg were stopped only by an eleventh hour fluke. Well watch the "Best of Both Worlds" for more detail on that. Back to this story however, we see Ben Sisko an officer on the USS Saratoga glaring at Locutus (an assimilated Captain Picard from "The Next Generation") on the viewscreen as Locutus informs them of their impending doom. The Saratoga gets smashed up in about nine seconds and with the call to abandon ship Sisko attempts to rescue his wife and son from their burning; collapsed quarters. Now this raises a question for me. Why were civilians on this ship at all? In "Both Worlds" Admiral "God off Star Trek V" Hanson said the stand at Wolf was actually planned and not just some last ditch attempt to save Earth, so it's not like the Saratoga wasn't just rushed into a desperate last stand. Why then were the civilians not all evacuated to a starbase or something? Sisko manages to save [his boy] Jake, but his wife Jennifer has been crushed to death by falling debris. He is forced to leave her body (Brooks excellently portrays just how awful a fate that must be for a loved one to be put in) in the wrecked ship as he watches the ship get blown to bits. He now has nothing left of his wife, not even a memorial spot to place a flower. Tragic. Avery Brooks is a very talented physical actor, and his face says a zillion times more than any dialogue would when he watches the Saratoga blow.


Three years later Sisko and Jake are en route to his new assignment, and thank god that; unlike many Trek protagonists, Jake and Ben get on well as father and son. This Oedipus thing was one of the less desirable tropes of Trek, but more on this in a later review. It was truly too bad they never really capitalised on the Jake / Ben relation more than they did. Jake was an earlier Travis off Enterprise for being overlooked by the writers. As I said Ben is to be the chief administrative CO on Deep Space Nine, a grotty looking station orbiting the recently liberated and strife torn world of Bajor. Being captain of the Enterprise it aint. Sisko clearly doesn't want the job, and Jake points out that it sounds like the shittest place in the universe to be a teenage kid. Sisko has to lie and point out the tenuous benefits of living on DS9. This scene is a bit like a Dad bullshitting the line to his kids that a caravanning holiday in the former Soviet Union is as equally exciting a vacation as a fortnight at Disneyworld. "Hey son, Space Mountain isn't even real. Baikonar has real rockets! They even have grazing reindeer on the Steppe! And we all know who uses reindeer don't we!" Hypothetical Dad isn't selling it and Sisko isn't either.


Deep Space Nine, a former Cardassian mining station in orbit of Bajor (which make sense, as there is a shitload of ore in the vacuum of space.) is the ugliest thing ever. A postmodernist hat stand. It looks like a steampunk airport cum service station inside. I never took to the look of the station, for one thing I like the more realistic look of Babylon 5, which seems more plausible for a space station design. The place has been trashed as a good bye present by the retreating Cardassian occupying forces. It's a mess, and a ghost town in the making. Chief O'Brien, an engineer from the Enterprise D assigned to the station as Chief of Operations and Major Kira Nerys, a highly strung and vocal Bajoran national (mmm. Sounds like Ro Laren? Should do. Michelle Forbes was supposed to take this role but declined. That is ironically why the writers set the show on Bajor.) compounds the pessimism of their state. The planet is in a dreadful state after 40 to 60 years (depends on who wrote the script). It's mined out, trashed (though it looks surprisingly green and healthy. Should it not resemble the Narn homeworld a bit more?) and the new provisional government is weak and divided, and riven with hostile factions. The planet will likely end up with a civil war in the near future. They then see local lawman Odo (nicknamed constable, after his love of English romantic painters), whose made of the gunge stuff inside Jaffa cakes - nab some alien weirdo and a Ferengi boy for looting. Sisko spots a chance to stop the exodus of vendors when he discovers the boy is the nephew of the owner of the bar, Quark. He'll get Nog (the boy) out of a prison sentence if he stays and becomes a "community leader", Kira points out this is unwise as Quark is about as trustworthy as Bernie Madoff.

"Look, it's an Frenchmans God given right to drink Earl Grey in front of a backdrop of an unrealistic looking planet!"


The next scene is a controversial one amongst fans. Sisko meets Picard, and it ends up in a heated confrontation. It is a classic case of a good bad idea. Sisko holds animosity towards Picard as he believes that Picard as Locutus is responsible for Jennifers death. Now this is not a bad call because it is unrealistic (it isn't). Nor was it badly acted (the opposite) or even a lousy scene (it wasn't). It doesn't work because we side with Picard, not our protagonist. Which is a bit of a bummer if we are supposed to like him. Unlike Sisko we are privy about Picards direct role in the affair, how he was consumed by guilt. How it came close to breaking him. We can understand Siskos anger, but not condone it. Here was this guy who was well liked on the predecessor show, who went through hell over the Borg thing, and this unknown guy is being like this. That is why, perhaps looking good on paper -it was a bad call.

Sisko chews the fat with Kira, who tells him that she sees the Federation as little better than the Cardassians and rather ironically from an Earth point of view - that it is the Bajoran religion that can really unite her people. The Kai (a kind of Bajoran pope) is a recluse and sees no-one, but she has the power - to quote HeMan -to unify her warring flock. Obi Wan Kenobi than shows up and starts acting in an ethereal intense manner that fictional religious folk seem to do on telly. Seems Kai Opaka wants an audience with Sisko, she takes his pagh ( a Bajoran version of the force), which unlike taking his temperature or his tax return details involves grabbing someones ear. I believe the original idea was for a Bajoran to tickle a persons toes or something. She says he will be the emissary to the prophets, Bajors gods, who live in the celestial temple (which sounds like a Vegas casino) and send orbs (or tears of the prophets) to guide the Bajorans, all but one of which was pinched by the Cardasssians during the occupation. Sisko looks at the orb and has a flashback to when he met Jennifer by kicking sand in her face on a beach. Sisko is euphoric and starts acting like a lovestruck kid, but Jennifer (Felicia M Bell pulls this off very well) initially just thinks he's a weirdo (in her eyes he's still just a stranger), but is won over by Sisko who is surprisingly a bit of a ladies man. The vision ends and the Kai implores Sisko to discover the location of the celestial temple before the Cardassians figure it out.


Jadzia Dax and Julian Bashir arrive now, the former is a 28 year old women who has a 300 year old slug in her (no really) and Dr Bashir who is a cocksure and green newly qualified starfleet doctor. He tries (and fails) to get a date with Jadzia (this'll be a running thing over the years). Sisko says he has to put her [Dax] to work, which just sounds like he's her pimp. No to work in locating this celestial temple to shut that barmy pope lady up. We discover Dax and Sisko are old buddies, but that was when the Dax slug had a male body (Curzon). Now he has to accept his old friend can now be eligible to model knickers in a John Lewis catalogue. Bashir however puts his foot in it with Kira, when he patronisingly describes how Starfleets finest new doctor passed up all the good shit to be assigned to Bajor as it is a frontier wilderness. Kiras putdown over his human chauvinism is one of the many incidences of DS9 overturning some of the "excesses" of the previous shows.


Dax discovers the location of the celestial temple, and again I have to ask. How has it remained undiscovered for so long? This is the Bajoran equivalent of finding the pearly gates for heavens sake! (no pun intended) They should have pulled out all the stops to find it. Dax says that there are numerous incidents around an area of ionic interference. Anecdotes from 200 years ago (so Bajor has had spaceflight for a while) about the heavens opening in that location. Why didn't the Cardies (who seem keen to hoard the orbs) send some of their ships to scan the area with a fine toothed comb? Now call me silly, but concentrate the search and try focusing on that area, you may be onto something. If on Earth we had a legend about a god hole to heaven, and that people in London had reported seeing a big god hand around Tottenham Court Road, a London bus ended up driving on clouds when it was just on the North Circular, and a beefeater reported seeing an angel come out of a grid in Wapping, you could imagine the religious authorities would be all over the Greater London Area, and they'd have likely have found it.


Gul Dukat (more about him in later reviews), the former Cardassian military governer (or prefect) of the Bajor makes his first appearence about now. Dukat would become one of the most popular characters on the show. It is hard to imagine now that Marc Alaimo was actually not originally cast for the role, but the guy who was didn't end up taking the role. It just wouldn't have be the same show! Dukat implies that he wants his old job and station back and reminds Sisko that Starfleet is a long way away. All delivered with that well mannered villainy he will become to be famous for.

They need a way to get Dukat's ship off their backs so Odo sneaks on board by shapeshifting as a sack (wouldn't we all?) disables the sensors and Dax and Sisko do what someone should have done umpteen years ago discover the celestial temple, in fact an artificial wormhole to the distant Gamma Quadrant on the other side of the galaxy. It is the only stable wormhole ever discovered. Coming back to Bajor they get stranded on a "planet" where an orb zaps them both and Dax gets sent back to DS9, Sisko makes contact with the beings who built the thing. As it is in the eons old superbeings guide to etiquette, they of course speak in a vague and cryptic manner. Did no one in the olden days in space ever get the concept of getting straight to the fucking point? They do not exist in linear time as we do, experiencing existence at one moment at a time like we do. They see past; present and future as essentially the same thing. This does beg the question of why they are shocked that Sisko has shown up, wouldn't that be like us being shocked that it is Sunday when it was Saturday the day before? Chief O'Brien moves DS9 to the mouth of the wormhole by some made up science I can't be bothered to explain so they can stake a claim to it on Bajors behalf. Sisko tries to explain to the aliens how this linear existence thing works by effectively using baseball as an analogy. But they are confused as to why Sisko doesn't apply the logic of living in the moment and learning from past experience. He keeps returning to one period, Jennifers death. Now this is another subversion of Trekkian trope that DS9 likes to lob on screen. The superbeings judging the human condition and viewing us as a bunch of gibbering fools with the intrinsic value of dog turds is old hat for Trek (essentially all four pilot episodes baring Enterprise worked on this theme.). Usually our hero valliantly explains the noble creature that resides under the shabby superficial skin so well that the aliens and (supposedly) the audience all learn an important lesson that shows us so much about our values and beliefs. This is twisted here. Sisko bangs on about exploration and learning new stuff being the bedrock values of Homo Generoddenberryius, but he blatantly doesn't apply those values in practice. He may be on the frontier, but the spouse he lost on the Saratoga is always there with him. He never left Wolf 359 ever in those 3 years. He breaks down admitting he can't move on, and Jennifers death continues to haunt him. Avery Brooks has been criticised for his acting style, but he gives an intense and physical performance which suits him best, and is on display here. This poor man has been so worn down with guilt and grief. The prophets show that he has to move on or he will never leave the rut he is in. There is a nice scene at the end when the prophet who has taken on Jakes form nods slightly at him. Some of Jennifer remains in him, and with that a reason to carry on. Very nice touch that.

Whilst all this is happening, the Cardassians threaten to blow the station up as Dukats vessel is trapped in the wormhole (the prophets blocked it when they entered). The station has no weapons and the crews desperate attempts to bluff their way out of a shooting war dry up. The Cardies are about to blow them sky high when in the old style of artistic timing Sisko returns from the wormhole, Dukats disabled warship in tow. The Cardassians return home and Picard and Sisko shake hands, Picard commending him for staying on after all. If Sisko can move on from his wifes death, perhaps Bajor can move on from the decades of brutal servitude. Perhaps Sisko and the Bajorans are somehow in the same boat and can help each other. We finish with a bold new day for Bajor and DS9.

"Sir now we're back and out of danger. Is this a good time to mention our insurance clause from "Compare the Market" doesn't cover act's of God? Thought not.

Mistakes and Questions.

The prophets claim their existence is disrupted when anything passes through the wormhole, but later they are OK about it being used as a gateway to the Gamma Quadrant. Isn't this a bit like letting the authorities build an 8 lane expressway through your front room?

There is some discrepancy about how long the occupation lasted (The quoted duration would vary throughout the series.) Kira says the Cardassians arrived at Bajor 60 years ago. Others say the occupation was 50, even as low as 40 on occasions. Perhaps the Cardassians did a sort of Trojan horse thing and gradually annexed the planet.

Bettys thought for the day.

The prophets of course do appear to have some concept of linear time. They are both surprised at Sisko's arrival and Dukat's ship entering the wormhole, which would be odd for a species that sees past present and future as essentially the same thing. It reminds me of a great line in Phil Farands Nitpickers guide book about how the encounter should have gone:

"About time you got here Sisko. Your wife's dead, get over it. You can use the wormhole. We love baseball too. Now leave!"

Summary.

Emissary is a fine pilot episode. The strongest first episode up to the date it aired. It is striking how well constructed it is in spite of the huge amounts of exposition and backstory it had to accommodate into this two parter. It sets the ball rolling and introduces a new; multilayered and darker approach to Trek than we have had in the past. It is a nicely nuanced piece, with Siskos personal tragedy overshadowing his own life, and this being interlinked with the Cardassian occupation overshadowing the nature of Bajors identity and future. If it suffers, it comes from the layman perhaps being overwhelmed at times about all the new stuff that has to be taken on board (it is surprising how much gets crammed into a DS9 episode.), and a few scenes of laboured acting and dialogue (understandable given the casting problems at the time.) This is an excellent start, and on first viewing I couldn't wait to see more, and that is what a pilot episode should set out to acheive.

Rating. 8 / 10.

Next Time. It's Al Quieda in space, and Kira learns that not everything can be solved by shooting Cardassians in the face. And to think Allo Allo made being in a resistance movement look like a right jolly adventure!

Introduction to Blog

I'll keep this short as it is just a summary of what we will find on this blog.

Betty's Interstellar Adventures (BIA for short) is an actual manifestation of something I have planned to do for ages, but for one reason or another it never really materialised (I have that dreadful combination of traits, being both the biggest procrastinator going, and a short term attitude to sticking at stuff like this. Also known as being a bit of a lazy git)I've always been a sci-fi nut, and a Star Trek nut at that, and I've always fancied reviewing the episodes. Now this lies in the wake of excellent reviews of various sci-fi shows by online reviewers such as SFDebris, Red Letter Media, Confused Matthew, Distressed Watcher, Linkara and so on. So I thought why not have an (admittedly amateurish) pop myself? The reviews will run concurrently in order they are shown, so the blog order will be chronological and not flip[ flapping all over the show. Then when we finish one show; we move on to a new show. The first reviews will be about the Star Trek spin off Deep Space Nine (DS9). This is because I have the greatest familiarity with that show, and more importantly I have access to all the episodes, so there won't be any gaps with episodes I can't review because I can't watch them. Ditto why B5 is next on the list. I intend to do the following shows in this order (at present)

DEEP SPACE NINE

TREK MOVIES

BABYLON 5 (NOT CRUSADE AT PRESENT)

BABYLON 5 TELEMOVIES & THE LOST TALES

ENTERPRISE

And potential non Sci-Fi revies of

BLACKADDER

FAWLTY TOWERS

DROP THE DEAD DONKEY

ALAN PARTRIDGE

That's about that really. So Next time we start the ball rolling with Emissary. A new discovery on the fringes of the universe (which is about a fortnight from Earth according to the show) could change the galaxy for ever, and we discover that superbeings are a dab hand at providing therapy for that guy from "Spenser for hire" to get over his wife kicking the space bucket.